Highlight Reel

Like most people on social media sites, if my little boy did something adorable or give me that much prodded smile, I share it.  If I am having a good time with good food and great friends, I share it.  If the family travels to somewhere cool, I share it.  Pretty flower arrangement, share!  Freshly baked cupcakes, share!

But that Friday night when I stayed home feeling overwhelmed because I have to sort the mountain of laundry, well that pretty much was not shared.  And I remembered that before I hit the share button for those baked cookies, I have to ask the husband to clear the counter top and move the dirty cookie sheet out of the way.

And so these photos below made it to my social media feed, because you see these were the wonderful moments I want to cherish. Social media is a great tool for capturing our family's moments.  It's my digital scrapbook. While I really want to create those DIY scrapbooks posted in Pinterest, I really don't have the time to do it in between dirty laundry, a whiny toddler, rushing for my early morning commute and being that wonderful wife to my husband.

My highlight reel are real, but they are not the whole story.  That's what I constantly remind myself every time I browse at social media accounts.  I see this awesome mother of three boys all under 5 who still managed to look so well put-together all time may have her own struggles too. This homeschooling mama whose living room look like something straight out from a designer magazine may have a pile of dishes left in the kitchen sink waiting to be washed.  That hot mama with flat abs have really worked very hard for that.

And instead of feeling bad that they are all so awesome and I'm not... I remember that they are there to inspire and uplift me to find my awesome too.

I totally agree with this writer from the HuffingtonPost when she said "Social media is a great tool for sharing joy and gratitude, but a strong relationship is built on sharing the bad along with the good.  We need to share the experiences that don't make the scrapbook and rely on each other when we don't feel like we have much to celebrate.  Let your loved ones record and share their happiness on Facebook.  If you want the whole story, give them a call."

I choose to share my, our family's moments in my feed, but if you want the whole story, email me, PM me or better yet, give me a call (hello Viber, Skype, Messenger, etc) so we can catch up on how real our struggles are and  celebrate how awesome our lives are too.

How about you, do you feel down seeing other people's highlights or do you feel inspired?

Bag Crush Diaries: Lunch and Crushing on MK's Sutton Saffiano bag

I seldom go out for lunch on a weekday.  I brown bag my lunch #frugalme because aside from saving moolah, I don't like the chilly wind despite the sun being so bright and sunny.

But since friday was relax at work yesterday and the sun was out shining (yes it's still chilly) I braved the chill and had japanese lunch with my colleague  near our work at Bien Izakaya.  Ordered some sushi, which just tasted normal (nothing fantastic) but the teriyaki tofu don (fried tofu with teriyaki sauce on rice) was yum.  Too yummy that I forgot to take a photo of it and realized only after my bowl was empty.

Lunch at Bien Izakaya Newmarket

But really the highlight of  my lunch out yesterday is meeting my latest bag crush.  There is this new store in Newmarket that I passby on my way to work from the train station.  I have been wanting to in and have a look; but it was only yesterday that I found the time.  And when I stepped in, I was greeted by my latest crushie.  It wasn't crush at first sight because there where a lot of other items on display that distracted me.  But I guess this little beauty stood out.  The picture below does not do any justice...

But maybe this would help you understand why 

And since it comes with a sling, you can carry it as a sling bag or cross-body for a more causal laid-back look...

The tote comes in small/medium and large.  I am liking the medium one.  And my matrona status would probably carrry the bag like this ;)

You can check out more of the store's display at Newmarket (The Brand Warehouse).  

What have you been crushing lately?

The Joy of Picking Strawberries

Its mid of spring and that means....Yes, summer is just around the corner!!! 

And nothing feels more like an NZ summer than picking your own fresh strawberries...Or for this little fellow, more like squashing them :)

Strawberry picking at Massey Orchards and Garden summer of 2014

He definitely have fun crawling in the strawberry field

Can't wait for summer and tick off our summer bucket list!

What's your summer bucket list?

The ruffled mama duck speaks

I’m the world’s lousiest blogger.  But since blogging is not something I earn from, I do not have the pressure of timelines.   And I have to admit I am slow.  I am slow in weaving into words the events I have experienced, the places I have visited, the people I have met and the food that I have savored.

Well my slowness is definitely not attributed to early signs of dyslexia J but rather I am more leaned towards a slower beat in this ever increasing fast-tempo world.  I need time to gather my thoughts and decide whether this is worth telling or not.  Or probably some experiences are better left inside the deep crevices of my being so that its "specialness" does not get lost in the web of digital information.

Still this is my happy place.  Coming here from time to time and sharing my experiences and thoughts reminds me of my why.  Reading my posts from years gone by ignites within me the determination to be that woman I want to become; someone who wants to consciously live life to the fullest.

Enough with the drama! What I really just want to say is “Hey blog I miss you!” 

With love,

The ruffled mama duck ;)

Keep Calm, because you are the best mom ever

And so who's the better mommy?
Image from google search

Breast feeding vs. bottle feeding, stay-at-home-moms vs. working moms, co-sleeping vs. sleep training, front-facing vs. rear-facing car seats, strollers vs. baby carriers, etc. etc. etc. and thus coined the term "mommy wars".

How often do we feel inadequate as a mom when someone gives a “well-meaning” but thoughtless remark on our parenting skill? But really, regardless of the differences in our parenting techniques or the decision to work outside the home vs staying at home, we all know one thing,every mom makes the best choice for her family given their circumstances. This is to say that we are all keenly aware that no one has the "perfect" setup. No mother is absolutely certain she is doing the right thing all the time.

And so, if we are yet fed again, be it in the media or well-meaning friends of another story of working mothers vs stay-at-home mothers, breast-fed or bottle-fed, self-soothing or attachment parenting (the list goes on and on) and who is doing it better, even the most self-assured mother can feel a little fragile at times.

But quite frankly, we did not make those decision overnight. We pondered over it, spent sleepless nights and perhaps shed buckets of tears to come up with a plan that would work well for the entire family and giving the bubba the best care we can possibly give.

So, instead of “criticizing” those who choose what we don’t want to choose, or can’t choose to do, let's resist the urge to criticize and give "advise".  Let's have empathy, share our stories, learn from each other without imposing, support each other as women and as parents.  

Moms these days deal with super high standards that who knows who has set (our selves probably?), and because of that innate desire to become that "perfect" mom, be feel the pressure and sometimes lash our frustration on others.  Well, let's just stop!

Because really, there is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.

This funny (but semi-true) video created by formula brand Similac has grown viral showing how ridiculous mommy wars can get. So sharing this video to every parent I know...So here you go:

PS:  The toughest mommy war I am dealing actually is with myself.  But then again, that's an entirely different story :)  Have a lovely weekend everyone!

Reset

“Is it really over?”

For the past couple of days, I have caught myself asking that question after the alarm in my phone beeps and I realize that today I have to be in front of my computer sitting in my office by 8:30 AM.

Yes folks, holidays are over and we are back to regular programming. 

While over half of the first month of the new year is over, I haven’t have the time to reflect on the frenzy of activities that my little family has embarked last year. 

When we packed our bags and left sunny Singapore to start anew in New Zealand (pun not intended), our purpose and aim as a family was to find a place “relatively safe” which offers great work-life balance to raise a family.  To sum it up nicely, “to have an abundance of the most important things in life”

Fast forward from March 2014 to today, I guess, we might have slightly lose focused on the aim.  While we strive for abundance, the important thing was getting blurry.

We wanted “abundant” time to spend with each other, but it has been replaced by long commutes to work.

We wanted “abundant” after-work energy to spend time meditating on our personal study and family worship, but it has been replaced by abundant energy drainers that left us tired and sadly undermining the quality of our spirituality as a family.

While I don’t believe that it has to be January 1^st for me to look back and hope to create a fresh start on an area on my life that needs to be overhauled, but when the hubby firmly declared that we need a reboot, I am with him 110%.

I know I’m probably not the only one who has wished that we could find a reset button for life.  When times get tough and we feel overwhelmed, there really has to have certain ways we can hit reset, right?

I guess for us, it going back to the aim and purpose of our family.  And no we are not changing the family mantra.  Yes the aim is still “to have abundance in the most important things in life” and this time is to really making sure of what is really important. [Phil 1:10]

 More field service time and a regular bible study perhaps

More family time

More energy

More vibrancy

I know the reset button isn't magical.  It's not like waving a magic wand and your life changes in a blink of an eye.  It's hard work people.  And so, we are taking it one step, one day at a time.

Cheer us on, please :)